…But Sex

Advanced contributor jeremy
posted 29 comments!

Title is misleading…………..!!

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9 Responses to …But Sex

Not crazy about the lyrics – not big on lyrics if they’re just for shock value. Strickly song wise I liked it. I like the use of the backround vocals. The lead vocals seemed a tad bit over processed. I would have liked to have the beat change alittle too. The kick kind of became a drone. Thanks for sharing.

If I’m wrong about the lyrics I apoligize.

Jim

Ha ha ha. I like where you’re going with this one. the low whispered singing needs work but the higher register stuff sounds great. I think you need to work on makeing it funnier. My suggestion would be to speed it up a little . It takes too long to get to the funny parts and would flow better at a little faster tempo without losing the smoothness. I’d work on the lyrics to make them funnier and punchy. Nice job.

Hey Jeremy, You did a great job creating the atmosphere and vibe. You laid the groundwork for a really serious song that I was just getting “in to” when BAM!! Shock lyrics! I’m sure the shock was part of your plan in the writing process. If so, great! Lyrically, you did a great job if you were going for a novelty song. However, I don’t think the lyrics and music work composed.

I appreciate that you are “out of the box” with this one. I know, no rules! But maybe you have two songs here? Keep this great passionate tune for a serious theme. Keep your unique and fresh lyrics for something a little more silly and upbeat.

Overall, musically and lyrically you did a great job! Just don’t put them together.

Thanks for sharing. Bob

I’m pretty much with Jim622 on this one. I’ve never really been into these kind of lyrics in a song. Even as a young teenager, I remember being disappointed with Chuck Berry’s “My Dingaling,” after idolizing him for his earlier work. Anyway, the musicianship was OK, I think you’re selling point on this one is more on the lyrics side for those who find them amusing, and there is a market out there for the song I’m sure.

kessmonsters
Commented:  April 8, 2013 at 11:38 PM()

i really like the cool vibe. lyrically if this is a comedy parody of the cool music to get laid by genre, then you have succeeded. i think it’s hilarious and well done. i might have brought the vocal out a little. this is the kind of song, you just never know. i would pitch it to the HBO Cat house series. good effort, kess

vincenti
Commented:  April 11, 2013 at 8:28 PM()

I didn’t finish to listen you song don’t like you lirycs must be another way you can said you feelings,the sounds is nice,ty to to do better next time

Jeremy
Commented:  April 13, 2013 at 3:08 AM()

Thanks for the feedback… For me the serious music is easy. When I started to go a bit off the main road and attempt tunes that played more to my day to day personality I found it more difficult to capture. The title, an obvious play on words, of ‘…but sex’ was one I had for months floating around in my mind. It worked out far better than expected and to be funny and not all out nasty, in my opinion is harder than expected..

My next submission is uploaded and waiting to be posted.. It is titled ‘ Do Do (Do Do Do)’. I dare you to not allow the chorus to plague your melodic thoughts for the rest of the day! 😉

Jeremy

Toney Wright
Commented:  April 21, 2013 at 8:25 PM()

Good one! you’re very talented!!

Joe fame
Commented:  August 15, 2013 at 10:11 AM()

Clever lyrics and funny! As far as production values, you might get a better singer. But overall, your song made me laugh. Don’t think its top 40 material but it still is clever.

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