Clams

Advanced contributor spadanny
posted 57 comments!

I live in a knot in a tree
a hole in the ground
or under the sea
I live in a place in a rock
under the dock
where no one can see
and I’m fearful

I live in a night on the town
a circle of friends
when I’m feeling down
I live on the 30’th floor
up in the wind
you can’t hear a sound
and I’m fearful

Run Raise the rampart tell the queen
There going to poison the sea

I live in a personal shell
a place I have found
it suits me well
I’ll live the best that I can
with the rest of the clams
in case you can’t tell I’m fearful
So be careful

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12 Responses to Clams

Toney Wright
Commented:  April 30, 2013 at 9:46 PM()

I like the song
Danny, well written and you sing it well, I can’t quite grasp the meaning unless it’s about withdrawing from the outside world because of being paranoid. you’re a good song writer…Toney

swarmin1
Commented:  April 30, 2013 at 9:47 PM()

This is definitely unique. The song itself has a pleasant vibe. I really like the mix. Fun song!

vincenti
Commented:  April 30, 2013 at 10:42 PM()

Listen this song is going back to the 70’s,for me the tune is out the time

kessmonsters
Commented:  April 30, 2013 at 11:07 PM()

very tom petty-ish, lyrically this may need some work. i’m really don’t get it. kess

Thanks Toney. Lyrically it doesn’t make logical sense but it’s meant to be a little esoteric. What I hope people take from it is that all living things from the simplest to most complex are bound together by a mutual need for survival and that that should lead us to empathy but unfortunately as we all know it’s more of a dog eat dog world. It doesn’t offer any solutions but just points out the state of things. Thanks for the review and kind words.

JamesZ
Commented:  April 30, 2013 at 11:51 PM()



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Clams

A very fun and well crafted song.  Nice lyrics and structure. I  enjoyed hearing it and listened quite a few times.

Not sure why you call it clams though…a name can be important. Clams is only used once in the whole song, you might want to rename it, perhaps something along the lines of ' I Live in a Knot'. Something more obviously from the song. You've already got a fun concept firmly in hand,  keep that going with a better name say I. 🙂

As always these words are just my own take on what I hear, not intended to be harsh but hopefully a fresh look at your work. I  tell myself a lot of way worse things about what I write. lol

Some General thoughts.

The over-all EQ seems flat. You could do a lot more with making better space by notching out EQ for your drums, bass, and organ. Take a look at the Fabfilter videos on how they EQ a mix to get an idea of what I mean. All the instruments are in the middle of the stereo separation, giving some of them a slight left or right bias will give you a brighter sound, better separation and a lot more "live" sound.

Did you use a low pass filter for this mix? seems like I hear a lot of low hz noise in the mix, you can just cut everything below 50hz and really clean up the mix.

The drums work very well with your song but are sounding very machine like, more variation in velocity would perk them up. Add in other variations for fills and transitions.

Intro:

Works well but your [background vocals?] are lost and I think they are deserving to be heard way more in the mix.The 'la la la' is just not being heard in the mix.  Oh, It could be an instrument at 00:13 giving me the impression of some 'la la la' but a vocal and or instrument is a great sound there….make it stand out. And bring it back ….as you already do, just give it some room to have its own space in the frequencies.

Verse 1 ,

works well, I like your transitions into your refrain I'm fearful. Not sure you need to double the vocal for the verse, for this song I'd add a touch more reverb and let the single vocal carry it, or double a few words here and there. 

Chorus,

you don't sound afraid when you sing the fearful lyrics, not a bad thing per se but do ask yourself if you could add more depth to the song if you did try that. It would also give us a break from the vocal style.

And I'm Fearful…..

hmm. I don't think your and as a lead into your chorus is working.  Its sort of wasted since other words would do the same thing but say a lot more. Like

'cause I'm fearful'

or 'so I'm fearful'

always share yourself with the listener, we want to know your secrets and fears. Find ways to say so clearly.

Verse 2

Well, you go from hiding to living on the town….sounds pretty social and not too fearful, It's not working as well as verse 1 and 3. Just the night on the town…bothers me. I like the rest.

Couldn't you live in the starry night? Your friends then  twinkle at you from far away ? 🙂 lol, made myself laugh when I thought of that.

anyway think about some polish there.

Middle 8 1:30

Run Raise the rampart tell the queen
There going to poison the sea

Pretty cool stuff there.  The vocal on queen loses a bit of impact in the mix though.

The last line could be better.  Seems to me you might try something like:   'They're Invading from the Sea___'   or something that will connect to the queen and her castle. I can see how a clam would be afraid of the poison in the sea but I don't hear a clam singing the song, it's a person who lives in a knot in a tree, a hole in the ground etc. yes hiding like a clam but still not a clam. Being invaded now….we can all relate to feeling that way and raising our walls to protect ourselves.

Verse 3

Like it …really feels like a good way to live even if you are fearful.

Ending

Nice ending….dig it.


    Thanks so much for the in depth review! I’m use to getting about a sentence so this was refreshing. I’ve started checking out the mixing videos that you suggested. I’m always eager to learn something new and appreciate anyone willing to share what they know. I’ tried to find some of your music on here but I didn’t see anything uploaded yet. Anyway great analysis and thanks again.

      JamesZ
      Commented:  May 1, 2013 at 9:43 AM()

      I really hope it helps you out. I think you’ve got a great talent for songs and I really enjoyed clams a lot.

      The fabfilter videos are truly amazing, like a crash course in how to mix and master. I learned so much from them.

      I’ve not yet posted here since I was trying to give before I got. 🙂

      I’ve a few songs posted here if you want to hear them.
      https://soundcloud.com/jameszarubin

marc lee
Commented:  May 1, 2013 at 9:03 AM()

the lyrics are the best part of the song; much more alive than the “lost my baby and drank myself to death” genre. could not make out the back up vocals, or whatever it was i was hearing. needs to be crisper. way to much clutter in the the chorus. good to beef up a chorus but not to the extent that it drowns out the vocals. that said, an eminently listenable tune. has a little bit of a yellow submarine vibe.

LJ
Commented:  May 19, 2013 at 1:49 PM()

DANNY, LOVE THE VOCALS AND THE CHORUS, ANOTHER CHORUS WOULD HAVE SOUNDED GREAT! AND MADE THE SONG A LITTLE LONGER. I ALSO WOULD TRY BACKING OFF ON THE INSTRUMENTATION, YOU HAVE A GREAT VOICE.
THE SONG HAS A FLAVOR OF THE “BEATLES” YELLOW SUBMARINE.
GREAT JOB.

I like the song – first verse does bring you to the Beatles Octopus’s Graden or Yellow Submarine. I do get where you were going with the title. Really liked the lyrics. I like your voice, but I kind of thought in the beginning it was a little over processed ( mind you I should never critique anyones vocals), but…. just my thought.
Good tune.

Jim

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