Crime of Passion

Advanced contributor jim622
posted 59 comments!

http://www.soundclick.com/bands/page_music.cfm?bandID=1125469

Lyrics

Crime of Passion

Down south backwoods
Blood on the roadside
Crime of passion
Heart ripped from his chest
Wont make the papers
Wont make the news
Crime of passion
Fill in the clues

Chorus:
A heart dripping blood
A heart that bleeds for love
A deserves much more
A heart that bleeds no more – for love

He stood there bleeding
Heart on the floor
Money’s love
She wouldn’t be poor
A noble life
Wasn’t enough
Threw away love
Headed out the door

Chorus:
A heart dripping blood
A heart that bleeds for love
A deserves much more
A heart that bleeds no more – for love

A women like that
Your better not knowing
A women like that
Should have got the chair

Chorus:
A heart dripping blood
A heart that bleeds for love
A deserves much more
A heart that bleeds no more – for love

Down south backwoods
Blood on the roadside

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12 Responses to Crime of Passion

kessmonsters
Commented:  March 25, 2013 at 8:31 PM()

wow, harsh. i believe that expecting some one to make the reach from what you’re saying to a failed relationship might be asking a bit to much. i think a little more info in your 1st verse might help bridge your idea.
good effort, – kess

    Kess – first of all thanks for the critique. I really appreciate it.
    As for the song like I told Gords – yeah I used the first verse to get attention, but I just had this idea to keep playing back and forth between a crime scene and a heart break. A kind of off center humorous song. I just wanted to entertain the listener, play some guitar, and practice trying to mix. I usually try not to take myself to seriously.
    Thanks again. I’ll be looking to hear your next song.

    Jim

I liked it. I liked the slide guitar and repeating riff. At first I, like kessmonster, thought that it was a literal crime scene (ha, ha), but i got it after the chorus and second verse. I think that you could put much more dynamics into the vocals: maybe more anger in the voice, or more sadness in the delivery or both. I know I’m not much of a vocalist either but dynamics would make this song come “more” alive.

    Thanks for the review. The main riff got some CCR going on with the drums. Thanks for the comment on the slide. I love trying to play slide, but I find its like learning bass. I have to try not to overplay.
    As for the lyrics – I wanted to attract attention with the first verse, and I tried to just keep the crime scene thing going without it really being about it. The vocals are what they are. I lost my partner, who sang, a few years ago and haven’t tried to find someone else to work with yet. Thanks for the listen.

    Jim

andyburr
Commented:  March 27, 2013 at 2:28 PM()

Good sound & feel. I’ve got no confusion re the metaphor.

BigFun
Commented:  March 28, 2013 at 10:08 PM()

Not bad. I would say cut a few bars off the intro. It seems to go on for awhile before the vox drop in with not much variety. Drums are a little repetitive.. some fills or interaction with the song would be nice. I’d retrack the slide guitar and try to dial in a fuller sharper tone. Other gits sound fine.

    BigF – thanks for listening and I like the way you critique, I’m fairly new to recording, but I think I’m getting a little better at it. Do you have some suggestions for the slide tone. The tones I like D. Allman, J. Winter, Haynes, Trucks. That tone escapes me. Maybe doubling the track clean and dirty. Do you have anything?

    Jim

Jim,

I love the guitar riffs and easy feel of the song. I like the drums but at times the performance is lacking. A good solid drummer could improve that. I think you could put some more guts into the vocal performance. It seems at times that the words are a little cumbersome to sing and you might consider revising them a little to make them flow better. those are my suggestions. Hope its helpful.

    Yeah Danny it was helpful. Problem is I’m doing this on my own. I lost my partner a while ago. Haven’t found anyone else that fits me yet. Drums are programmed. The vocals are my weak point. I’m a work in progress. Thanks for the listen.

    Jim

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