I do like the feel of the song and the mix as far as the instrumentation goes– except for the vocals. I think you should put the vocals more out front. I couldn’t make out one word? Please post the lyrics too so I can try and interpret what the song is about. Again, I do like the feel of the song and the instrumentation.
that’s odd, on my speakers the vocals are still too loud. I think a lot of issues with audio arise due to the track being un-mastered in general.
it’s so “tisk”
and with risk, my hands itch always
it’s your town
this whole cloud is a nerve gown
when oh god, there’s no god today
and sin for thee
in lairs bored symbolically
in excess we’ll all singe away
and sin for thee
our heads sewn on differently
and oh god, there’s no god again
there is no different place to be, than here in hell with me
Very good rhythm and rhyme. Two things keeping it from perfection: the use of the old English word “thee” which you probably chose for the rhyme, but i think is kind’ve corny. Too, in the last verse you use “again” which does not rhyme close enough with how you ended the other verses: always, today, away. You could use “today” twice which I would think make it stronger.
I love the last line ending. The rhythm and rhyme scheme drew me into the song and impressed me which I cannot say about many, so, again, good job, but it can be better.
Oh yeh, now that I commented on your song twice, please listen to mine and comment: “Only Love can win a Holy War” Just scroll down a bit from yours under Songwriters. Write what you think! I’ll take what you write to heart.
The song sounds like it is out of tune. Something isn’t in sync yet. I don’t know if it is the guitar sound or something else. It is hard to listen as it drags the ear drums. You have to work on tuning. Thanks for posting.
Thanks, all instruments were in tune though. I applied a “detuned vibrato” plug-in to a few of the guitars, in hopes to create a droning/gazey effect. It is a rough recording though, correct.
I think I will go back and maybe remove “detuned vibrato” and just replace it with a standard vibrato.
The issue with your track has nothing to do with mastering. Something is up with the mix in the right channel. The right side seems to be all washed out with reverb and maybe some phase cancellation. Mastering this would only amplify the problem. Did you check this track for mono compatibility? Let us know what you find.
This has a good feel as well. This voice is salable. It recalls Brian Ferry of Roxy Music. Feature it. Drop the reverb a bit and get it closer to the listener’s ear to increase intimacy.
sorry guys, i don’t get it
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