Embarrassment

Noobie user please-please
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10 Responses to Embarrassment

I do like the feel of the song and the mix as far as the instrumentation goes– except for the vocals. I think you should put the vocals more out front. I couldn’t make out one word? Please post the lyrics too so I can try and interpret what the song is about. Again, I do like the feel of the song and the instrumentation.

    Please Please
    Commented:  January 19, 2013 at 12:36 PM()

    that’s odd, on my speakers the vocals are still too loud. I think a lot of issues with audio arise due to the track being un-mastered in general.

    Lyrics:

    “hiss” slow
    it’s so “tisk”
    to notice
    and with risk, my hands itch always

    slow down
    it’s your town
    this whole cloud is a nerve gown
    when oh god, there’s no god today

    exist foul
    and sin for thee
    in lairs bored symbolically
    in excess we’ll all singe away

    exist foul
    and sin for thee
    our heads sewn on differently
    and oh god, there’s no god again

    there is no different place to be, than here in hell with me

      Very good rhythm and rhyme. Two things keeping it from perfection: the use of the old English word “thee” which you probably chose for the rhyme, but i think is kind’ve corny. Too, in the last verse you use “again” which does not rhyme close enough with how you ended the other verses: always, today, away. You could use “today” twice which I would think make it stronger.

      I love the last line ending. The rhythm and rhyme scheme drew me into the song and impressed me which I cannot say about many, so, again, good job, but it can be better.

      Oh yeh, now that I commented on your song twice, please listen to mine and comment: “Only Love can win a Holy War” Just scroll down a bit from yours under Songwriters. Write what you think! I’ll take what you write to heart.

rllewis999
Commented:  January 18, 2013 at 6:11 PM()

The song sounds like it is out of tune. Something isn’t in sync yet. I don’t know if it is the guitar sound or something else. It is hard to listen as it drags the ear drums. You have to work on tuning. Thanks for posting.

    Please Please
    Commented:  January 19, 2013 at 12:29 PM()

    Thanks, all instruments were in tune though. I applied a “detuned vibrato” plug-in to a few of the guitars, in hopes to create a droning/gazey effect. It is a rough recording though, correct.

    Please Please
    Commented:  January 19, 2013 at 12:39 PM()

    I think I will go back and maybe remove “detuned vibrato” and just replace it with a standard vibrato.

The issue with your track has nothing to do with mastering. Something is up with the mix in the right channel. The right side seems to be all washed out with reverb and maybe some phase cancellation. Mastering this would only amplify the problem. Did you check this track for mono compatibility? Let us know what you find.

clintsythe
Commented:  January 21, 2013 at 1:27 PM()

This has a good feel as well. This voice is salable. It recalls Brian Ferry of Roxy Music. Feature it. Drop the reverb a bit and get it closer to the listener’s ear to increase intimacy.

kessmonsters
Commented:  January 22, 2013 at 1:05 AM()

sorry guys, i don’t get it

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