Father Daughter

Noobie user griffo
posted 2 comments!

FATHER ,DAUGHTER

YOUR WEDDING DAY IS HERE NOW
AND IM LYIN IN BED
THINKING ABOUT YOUR LIFE
AND ALL THE LOVE WEVE SHARED
I WONT TO TELL YOU A LITTLE STORY
ABOUT A JOURNEY IVE HAD

BUT LIFE SEEMED SIMPLER THEN

I REMEMBER SITTING IN THE WAITING ROOM
FOR WE HAD NOT MET
SOMEBODY CAME IN AND THEY SAID
WOULD YOU LIKE TO MEET YOUR DAUGHTER SIR
well I SAID YOU BET

BUT LIFE….. SEEMED DIFFERENT THEN

WELL I WATCHED YOU GROWIN UP GIRL
WE PUT YOU THOUGH SCHOOL…
SOMETIMES YOU WERE STUBOUNE
BUT MOSTLY YOU WERE COOL
WE WERNT PERFECT PARENTS
BUT I THINK YOU NEW

BUT YOU……. WERE A LOT YOUNGER THEN

(SOLO)

well FROM A FATHER TO A DAUGHTER
(little girl) I WANT TO SAY TO YOU
YOU NEVER LET ME DOWN
YOU WERE ALWAYS SHINING THOUGH
IN FACT YOU ALWAYS PICKED ME UP
WHEN I WAS FEELING BLUE

ILL ALWAYS REMEMBER ……..YOUR LIFE BACK THEN

NOW LISTEN LITTLE DARLIN WHEN
YOU BERRY ME DOWN
PLEASE DONT SHED NO TEARS cause
ILL ALWAYS BE AROUND
LOVEIN AND WATCHIN YOU
FROM HIGH ABOVE THE GROUND

IN LIFE……
GOOD MEMORIES NEVER END
YOUR JOURNEYS JUST BEGAN.

Comments: 2 Comments

2 Responses to “Father Daughter”

  1. JamesZ says:

    Welcome to the site.

    Nice lyrics, your story line is cool. Love your vocals.
    I would really condense your intro…your story is pretty clear and you don’t need the wedding march to be so long and have such a slow build. Almost half a minute before we hear you sing….way too long. Really made me lose interest.

    It needs some dynamic changes, your tag lines don’t break from the verse enough to get a feel of difference to my ear. ‘but you….etc. Really should stand out both with music and vocal.

    The solo is not very interesting and fails to add to your song.

    All verse and no chorus…well i don’t mind that if you can make it work, however, It’s not working for me in this version of your song.

    Nice vocals and mix, yet the music structure feels too predictable and feels the same from start to finish. The Tempo …it sort of drags. You could do your tempo changes quicker and bring things to life without such a slow build up.

  2. spadanny says:

    Hey there. Heartfelt song and its not lost on me. I’m going to give you the most honest and hopefully helpful response I can.

    I think starting the song with the wedding march is cheesey and doesn’t work. If you want to reference it do it nearer the end of the song after I know where you’re coming from. Also the rest of the song comes in too late and theres a loss of energy that doesn’t seem to have any artistic purpose there.

    I like your voice and I like what you’ve done with the instruments. it’s a little boring though. I think you might should enlist some instrumentalists to flush your arrangement out. Also the keyboard solos are lame. They don’t work. Get someone else or rerecord them with a new direction. The first instrumental break works better with the guitar.

    In my opinion you need a bridge. Four verses in a row is just too boring to carry my attention. I’d love an emotional crescendo in here somewhere. From the first verse I know what sentiments you are laying down and it never changes. Consider a clintcher of some kind. Can you give me more information that might make this story stand out from others of similar sentiment?

    Finally speed it up and see what you think of it faster. I think with the speed these lyrics and chord changes go by the listener that would only make the song more accessible.

    Hope that’s helpful

    Danny

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