“Gun Rights” proto-demo
Advanced contributor rembow posted 42 comments!
I’m actually trying to get ideas with this. If anyone’s interested in collaborating let me know. I got the atmosphere I want, the mood I’m trying to get across, but I’m having trouble with a vocal melody. Got a basic idea (the thing I kind of hum at the beginning) but… it’s hard to explain; I’m not able to sing it for some reason. Anyway I’m posting for two reasons:
1) Is the mood palpable/is the emotion conveyed convincingly?
2) Any ideas for fleshing it out?
It’s a basic sort of blues-based progression but built around a B flat minor-ish chord I like a lot.
Comments: 12 Comments
OK, the mood is palpable. Do you have lyrics? Sometimes that will help with the melody. do ra me, if you know what I mean? the title is a loaded one: “gun rights,” that can go in a few directions. I was playing along with my guitar a bit–sounds like B minor rather than Bb to me. Can you send the chord progression to ? maybe an MP3 file to load into me recorder? lyrics? or would like me to make some up? “ya got your gun, ya got your power but ya got no soul” ? “ya got control, now they listen, but now they’re dead” ?
We spoke! Get any ideas yet?
I have worked on it but I had to go to work (darn it anyway!) I used your chord progression pretty much but with a drum machine; I also was using 3jBlank’s lyrics–pretty much–changed them a little. I got to work on it some more though. What I have did not quite captcher the cool feel you had on your accoustic. Give me a bit more time.
Hey , I posted your song using 3jBlanks lyrics. By the time you get this message it should be posted.
“In the end,
the gun’s gonna win
’cause it ain’t got no control,
and the last two standing’s
gonna die by the gun
or the loss if a soul.”
The gun’s got a right
on it’s own never kills
With a life aimed to trigger
curiosity met fills.
When the gun holds a trigger
no motion quick falls
nor silence sound breaks
Or action sought calls”.
When reading your title, I imagined it meant, “Rights For Guns”. I imagine the last two humans standing having a dual & either both killing each other, or one dieing while the other one is now doomed to die and being alone unable to reproduce will eventually become naturally extinct, or shoot him/herself out of boredom, and then the gun lives on never being fired again (unless a monkey, chimp, ape or other opposing thumbed animal plays with it).
It’s a nice ditty. Great start.
“If a gun had rights
they might never had been born.
Human nature procreates
ventures forth & toots the horn.
Boredom sparks invention
prompting tools igniting
movement tending actions
slowing conflict raising
tension hence, the gun.”
Nice elaboration on the title, I like that concept. Thanks man. I’ll let you know if I use any of it for sure.
Hey 3jBlank, I used your lyics for Rembow’s song: Guns Have Rights. I changed them slightly. Hope the song isn’t too dissapointing? It should be posted by the time you get this message.
Nice guitar – you have a start – the music and a subject. I think you have one of those song that we all get and have to live with a while before it gives you its next spark of inspiration. Enjoy the process.
Jim
Right, thanks for the advice, I think you’re right about that. Little has been done with it since. For now unless like you say, I just get a spark of inspiration, I’m going to try to just keep it in mind.
As far as mood, I’m hearing the usual minor things: serious, sad, trouble/danger. Bass and drums would go a long way in fleshing it out, IMO. It has some nice hooky guitar figures.
Lol “the usual”? Really? Guess I need to work on those original scales and tonality systems again, dammit. 1500+ years of work down the drain. FML. =P Thanks for comments.
Sounds like one that should build in intensity throughout to a heavy climax to me. Tasty guitar riffs. Definitely would go well with a full band. I don’t know what to tell you about the mood or whether it comes across properly because I’m not sure what mood you’re going for?