A song I wrote and recorded in a rock format. The song is about the awareness that exist beyond our fearful self imposed prison and how liberation is right there in the metaphorical Land Of Light.
Nice Triggs. I liked the feel of the song and the message. I think that we all do get trapped by our fears in varying degrees, and it is not until we lose those fears that we really can enjoy some things.
There were a few places where I started to get bored. The distorted power chords which seemed to remain the same through out the song could be broken up a bit in order to give the vocals a greater impact, same to be said during the lead breaks, I liked the effects on the lead guitar but I think it would be better if the rhythm distortion faded out during those breaks, or pan them to different sides. I listened to the song through my head phones and it sounded almost mono?
Too, It’s much easier to critique the lyrics if they are posted. I struggled a few times to make out the words, but I pretty much got the whole song. Again, I really like the feel, the message, and the lead break guiar work/effects, thanks for posting! Gordsd
Thanks for commenting, I think you are right it is kind of constant I will revisit this one on the board. Peace. Tom
very floydian, i like your idea. the mix is kind of muddy. you might thing of taming the wall of sound thing. vocal’s good. good effort. kess
Thanks Kess, yes I’m going to revisit this one.
there are 2 things for me first you recording and the music is perfect but the song base in one melody no bridge,too long,you can do better next time
Thanks Vincenti. Don’t forget that there really are no rules for song writing, its unfortunate that the industry has made everyone believe that we all have to play by their rules, verse, Chorus, bridge, hook. Some of my songs do that this one doesn’t and I’m not going to rewrite it to fit it into those parameters because I’m not going to contrive a piece. A good example would be Bob Dylans “All Along The Watcher” not even a chorus. I do appreciate your comment and I intend to work with the mix and in the end I may not change anything I believe you must follow the muse not the machine.Thanks again. Peace. Tom
my first criticism is that although I like the big loudness of your sound on this track, I can hear the compressor breathing and that gives the overall track a lo-fi quality. I’m feeling a pink floyd vibe although your voice is David bowie-esq. Everything is sounding a little over processed to me. There are definitely some haunting animalistic sounds in the guitar track particularly but I dont think you’ll be able to get it across until you find a way to make things sound less like they’re going through a multieffects processor. Sorry to harp on that. you’re a good bass player. Speed the song up a bit.
I enjoyed it far too much to have any feedback other than “well Done”.. and I love that you just let the instruments ride out for the last two minutes.
(@ 7:15 there is a voice heard briefly)
You must be logged in to post a comment.