Promises

Advanced contributor kessmonsters
posted 52 comments!

I threw the receiver across the room
And knocked off the picture of us and you
I watched it fall and break on the floor
Like all of your promises
You lost a believer a bit to soon
You blocked off the passage to the truth
And I lost it all when you walked out the door
On all of your promises

You kept my heart, you kept my soul, you kept them
But none of your promises

I knew it was over a bit to soon
You crossed out your name on the door
You kept your cool when you turned your back
On all of your promises
And I try to remember a time and a place
I close my eyes try to picture your face
And the look in your eyes when you lied
And made all of your promises

I threw the receiver across the room
And knocked off the picture of us and you
And watched it fall and break on the floor
Like all of your promises
In a moment frozen forever in time
I crossed the line between the real and sublime
You broke your word and I broke my fall
On all of your promises

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10 Responses to Promises

JamesZ
Commented:  May 1, 2013 at 9:56 AM()

Congrats on a really great song that you clearly put a lot of hard work into. The vocals are outstanding. I thought the mix and mastering to be excellent. I’ll give you some of my feedback but my first impression was that there is very little to say

I’d perhaps like to hear a bit more of a change for a few bars, something that empties out except for vocals and drums.

It’s pretty heavy with repeating the promises tag line. I found that made the lyrics less interesting to me as it felt too predictable.

That is just my personal take on it, since I like the unexpected, I love being led down the path only to find something beyond where I thought it was going to go.

    kessmonsters
    Commented:  May 22, 2013 at 2:49 PM()

    thank you jamesZ and thanks to all of you for your kind and insightful words. i do appreciate your time and effort to comment on my work. kess

Great vocals. Great mix. You have a grasp of pop music thats beyond most of the music on the nest. I like the instrumental section. It’s full of energy and texture. The loose vocal rhythm on the first stanza of the verses is nice.

I feel like the song might be a bit repetitive. You might consider not saying “all of your promises” at the end of both stanzas of the chorus. It becomes a little predictable. I also think it could provide some variety and momentum if you went to a different chord at the end of the last verse leading into the chorus. Maybe a major tonality. Those are my thoughts.

vincenti
Commented:  May 9, 2013 at 7:30 PM()

I like the song good vocal,still sounds like old rock’band from the past,but you have future,keep doing music,but try to find you own style

joeyj2101
Commented:  May 10, 2013 at 8:40 AM()

You have a good rock voice! The mix is really good. It has a 80’s movie feel to it. Like a song from Karate Kid or something from that era. I really like your lyrics except for ,”And knocked off the picture of us and you”. It doesn’t make sense to me. You already said us so I assume the person you are singing to is in the picture. I would have tried something like,”I threw the receiver across the room And knocked off the picture of me and you.” It wouldn’t be rushed either. Just a suggestion. It would flow better I feel. All together it’s a great song.

Toney Wright
Commented:  May 13, 2013 at 7:49 PM()

I like the song the lyrics and the music and vocal mix sounds good to me. I think maybe it could use another verse and less repeating all your promises. but, I really like the song!!

Another great tune by you Kess! I wish I had something offer in the way of critique but you nailed this one! Excellent, keep em coming!

Bob

BritLad27
Commented:  May 21, 2013 at 9:27 PM()

Really 80s rock style, j’aime. Not sure what else to say.

It was a tiny bit hard to work out the time signature at the intro but that’s fine because it came out when you started singing. And I love the vocals. Very unique voice.

Great tune! Fantastic job on the vocals. The lead and the back round vocals fit it perfect. Nicely done.

Jim

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