Ok so one more as I always state it a rough work demo. no studio production here.LOL
well done.. Love the vocal a lot…!!
Cool Jeremy thanks alot
Good song, I like the lyrics and the vocals and melody sound good together!!
thanks toney very nice.
Very nice arrangement. Everything works well together. Keep up the good work.
Thanks you Csailer for the kind words
If you would post your lyrics that would help me to give you better feedback. I would love to know what musical struture you were exploring with this. Is it a I-vi-IV-V etc.
Saying something about what you wanted this song to do would help me understand your goals and give you better feedback. ie I am going to sell this song, or, its' just for me to play, I'm a solo act and wanted to add this song to my set list.
Keep in mind I am giving feedback to give you my response, it can sound a bit harsh but I am a fan of what you've done so far. I hope you go further and polish this one. Its got a lot going on here that is outstanding.
I don't think you are telling your story well. I don't get the song story easily and that makes it hard for me to get into your song world so far.
I hear the problems in your song life, what I don't hear is why or what is important about how things are now changed or better or worse.
You've got some great ideas but they feel less of a story and more of venting. I as a listener don't want to work so hard to figure out what you are trying to say.
To be specific: If just having her by your side gives you strength and that is your rescue say so. I don't know the timeline or history of what is going on and in the current structure it is not making sense to me.
Great job with your vocals, good emotions are projected. I think you could vary up your delivery. Soft and Loud dynamics are missing. It stays at the same level for the whole song. Can't understand what you sing at 3:14
Melody and Structure
Good melody in the verse, I would compress and make the chorus / tag line stand out from the verse. Right now I think your rescue me is pretty weak for both melody and drama, it sounds like the same chords and melody for both verse and chorus.
I would try different structure ideas, you could start with a chorus which could have you rescued with love and then tell how you fail without her by your side.
You might want to add a middle to add more interest to the structure
My feelings from the song.
I would love to feel rescued with you and that is really not there for me right now.You made a great start but my feeling is that you can deliver so much more to the story and song and really make me feel the story and your world.
Thanks Jamesz for the advise I’ll try to post the lyrics as soon as I can. (I-vi-IV-V) sorry I don’t know the Nashville scale I assume that’s what that is, wished i did. But I tuned to DADGAD when I wrote it.I have no agenda with it. keep it, sell it, I’m not sure.. it was the first song I wrote so it needs a lot. I plan to add a full band feel maybe even a rewrite. (( “Keep in mind I am giving feedback to give you my response, it can sound a bit harsh but I am a fan of what you’ve done so far”)) harsh is not always bad We put our songs on here for advise and opinion if we are not willing to hear the bad we shouldn’t expect the good. Your info is well needed.and to grow we must learn.Thanks
Sweet song! Lyrics sound like Christian theology . Am I right?
Nice guitar sound, maybe hitting the compression just a tad hard to my taste but thats a mater of taste. I can “hear” this building into a full band mix after about the second verse, with a variation in the arrangement to keep things interesting.
You’ve got some pipes! Really good voice.
Thanks roojam It didnt start that way ( Christian theology ) but the lyrics kinda have that feel. and thanks for the kind words.
i think the song needs a little more dynamics; you could use a lead instrument, or kick up you guitar playing during the non vocal break. the vocals and lyrics are good, but i would like to hear your guitar miked. good job overall!
I agree thanks for the info Marc.
Great vocals, I also agree with roojam, that after the 2nd verse a full band mix buildup would ad depth and keep the song interesting. Also ad some guitar lead in the middle of the song to break it up and keep things alive.
But diffently a great pc. of work!
thanks LJ, thats my idea also i just found a great player.. stay tuned for the remake LOL
Nice song. I also thought it should be built into a full blown production or just bring up the feel and the attack for a big
finish. Nice job on what you have – lyrics, vocals, guitar. Its a nice song – it needs something to bring it over the top though.
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