Shattered

Noobie user gwhool
posted 14 comments!

I wrote this song for a friend of mine to sing. I think she has a great voice. She had never sang anything like this before. She grew up tap dancing and doing mostly Broadway Musical stuff. So this was new to her but I think she did a wonderful job.

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11 Responses to Shattered

The musicianship, i think, is very well done; plus i like this genre of music better than others so you kinda have a fan with me right off. However, i think the vocals could be just “little” bit more out front–louder. She does have a nice voice!!! I listened to the video and the audio in order to listen to the lyrics closely. In most of the first 75% of the song there is a lot of repeating with little word change–which can work–I can think of other songs that repeat the same three words over and over, but I think this song could use a “little” more description of the sad situation? It does have a surprise ending “Took care of your daddy today!” –very cool! Just sayun: I started to get just a little bored before the surprise ending, then the song won me back. So you change up part of the lyrics in the first part of the song if you want–otherwise I think it works as is. Very nice over all. thanks for posting your work!

gwhool
Commented:  January 14, 2013 at 7:19 AM()

I was trying to put myself in the moment with this one. I was picturing myself as the mother telling her child these things. And it may sound repetitive but I can really see a mother talking to her child this way. Trying to reassure him that everything was going to be ok. Thanks for the comments. Greatly appreciated!

rllewis999
Commented:  January 18, 2013 at 7:32 PM()

Very nice song and strong vocal style. They fit together. The videography is nice and dark. The feel is like being in a cave of fear and hopeless sadness. The camera work of the band could be tighter, though—Where can I find more of these artists’ work?

    gwhool
    Commented:  January 18, 2013 at 9:53 PM()

    Thank you! This was the first time that I ever made a music video. After we recorded the song I decided it would be great to put on YouTube. So… we got together a couple of Sony Handycams and did some filming. We did the editing on an Apple computer. I think it came out pretty well for our first attempt. I decided to do it in black & white because the subject matter of the song is so dark.

Glen, nice synergy as everything worked very well together. I think her vocal performance put this tune in the wow category! Good job with the video as well. The B&W was a good choice. Thanks for sharing.

Bob

clintsythe
Commented:  January 21, 2013 at 1:43 PM()

Good song, really good. Good instrument work. Very good vocals, though they were a bit low in the mix in the beginning.

kessmonsters
Commented:  January 22, 2013 at 1:02 AM()

very good vocal, i guess i’m old school in that i like to hear a hook. but i do like the song.

Nice guitar tone. What kind of guitar and amp are you using?

    gwhool
    Commented:  January 27, 2013 at 9:57 AM()

    I was using my early 1990’s Charvel/Jackson. I replaced the stock pickups with some “Motherbuckers” and then plugged into a Behringer V-Amp 2. Which was plugged straight into my DAW. Thanks, GW.

Rockerace
Commented:  February 12, 2013 at 11:52 AM()

Great song. She does sing very well. Great capture on vocal recording. Though it sounded a low decibel in the beginning vocals, couldn’t understand what she was singing. Great recording of the acoustic guitar, made for some really good backing rhythm, also some fine picking. Overall, tight song, no muddy vocals or guitars, crisp sounding drums, good bass, great mix. The song’s subject fitted the music hand in glove. To the ear it was most pleasing. Great song, worthy for the masses to hear.

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